I Don't Think That Was Nyquil
by incendiarydissension
Summary: For some reason, somebody decided to put the number one prankster king in charge of the punch.
1. Be John

6:30 p.m.

Your name is John Egbert, and you fucking love school dances.

Something about the mixture of excited classmates dancing clumsily in the middle of the floor and the bright flashing lights and the booming speakers make it seem like you're in a movie. Kind of like in Back to the Future when Marty goes to the dance and has to try to save his future self by rocking out on the guitar, but you're not making out with your teenage mom, or trying to strike your car with lightning.

You tried to explain this to Dave in an attempt to convince him to walk away from the drink stand and dance a little, but he just rolled his eyes. At least, he probably did. It was hard to tell because he's refusing to take his shades off. You teased him a bit earlier about not being able to see in the dimly lit room, and he flipped you off and refilled his punch.

Little does he know you spiked it with a bottle of NyQuil you found in Rose's cabinet when you were helping her mix it. Parties are the best places for all kinds of pranks. Heh heh heh.

Rose is in on the prank too. She's over near the corner, hanging up some lanterns that were probably knocked down by someone's flailing arm. Always working, never actually dancing.

You say something to her about the assignment you got in chemistry yesterday and she responds by saying she and Kanaya will probably team up on it. Then she starts talking about all the work she has to do for Student Senate. You bicker a bit about your various responsibilities and try to one-up each other by elaborating upon all the homework you have, and then she goes back to fixing the lamps.

You suppose being a member of Student Senate has its downsides. Of course, Rose has never been one to lay around and do nothing. If she wasn't busy managing the drink table or throwing away used cups, she would probably be discussing something deep with Kanaya, reading a book in the corner, or making a list of things she needed for her latest project. Something scholarly like that.

Oh, shit. She's talking to you, isn't she.

"-and anyways, stacking them wouldn't have worked because there are too many and they would all collapse. I don't think we need people tripping on them. So that's why we did the pyramid. Do you think there's a better way we could have done that?"

"Gh-what?" you say, snapping to attention. Her mouth twists dryly.

"Forgive me for interrupting what I'm sure was a very important train of thought, John. Please, continue ignoring me during the conversation that, must I remind you, you initiated."

"Uh- yeah. I was gonna ask you if you'd seen Jade around."

Rose crosses her arms, thinking. "I think I saw her over near the DJ earlier. No- wait, she was talking to Dave. She tried the punch, but she said it tasted too much like cough syrup." She gives you a conspiratorial look and looks away, smiling, when you shoot back a wink.

"Well, she was close enough. I was going to ask her if she wanted to be my partner for that project..." Your voice trails off as a familiar voice came from behind him.

"Hello, Rose. I have some questions I need to ask you for the newspaper."

Rose turns, her smile completely unsarcastic now, and you figure you'd better abscond before flirt talk ensues. You and Kanaya exchange glares as she turns to Rose.

_6:43 p.m._

"Hey, Dave! Come dance!" Once again, he refuses to be pried from his seat. He shakes his head, putting his cup down on the table so it doesn't spill. "No way, man. There is no way in hell I'm getting up to embarrass myself like those sad douchewads on the dance floor."

"They're not sad, and they're not douchewads! Look at 'em. They're having fun. Daaaaaaaancing... paaaaaaaartying..." You drag out your words to taunt him. He knows you picked up the habit from Vriska and you know it pisses him off. He shuts you up by pointing away from himself, almost hitting you with his finger.

"Having fun, huh?" he says, reaching for his cup again. Where his finger is pointing, a dark shape is curled on the floor.

"Uh oh. I wonder who that is?" you say, turning back to Dave. He shrugs, sipping his punch.

"You know, I told you to ask Rose to get AJ for the drinks table," he says accusingly. You shake your head, wondering at his strange obsession with apple juice, and he sticks the cup under the drink dispenser and fills it to the brim again.

"Uh... Dave? How many of those have you had?" Not that it wouldn't be hilarious to see him snoring after a dose of sleeping tonic. You're just concerned for your best bro is all.

He pauses in his drinking, then shrugs and swallows. "I dunno. Six?"

Trying to hide your smirk as you imagine him passed out on the floor, you turn back to the shadowy lump on the floor. A dancing foot comes uncomfortably close to stepping on them and you figure you'd better make sure nothing's wrong before they get trampled to death.

Dave goes back to gulping punch as you approach, dodging Terezi and Nepeta as they swing past you, spinning to the music in a weirdly wild dance. Finally you make it, and as the light shifts, you think you can make out Karkat's gray sweater.

"Hi, Karkat!" you say, putting on the cheery voice that always makes him mad. He looks towards you, glaring and holding his head.

"Go away, Egbert." His scowl could burn your eyebrows off. You back away, holding your hands up in an innocent gesture that he probably doesn't fall for. "Hey, just checking up on my best troll bud." He turns away, covering his ears with his arms, and you have to inwardly congratulate yourself for staying in a good mood through his grouchiness. "What's wrong with you, anyway?" Aside from the usual stuff.

"Nothing. Go away."

You lean closer again, and he curls into a ball, trying to get away from you. "Awwww, come on buddy! You can tell me anything!" You love keeping up this attitude when you're talking to him. He retreats into his sweater more and you realize he's probably sweltering in that thing.

"I went near the screened note blaster and it fucking shattered my ears," he mutters.

"Whyyyyyyyy did you go near the 'screened note blaster'?" you question, shaking his shoulder. He slaps your hand away. "To get away from Mister Talk-your-face-off over there." He gestures towards the corner, where a familiar red sweater stands out in the semi-darkness, most likely cornering his next victim.

"And whyyyyyyyy do you look like you're in extreme pain?" you persist.

"Because Sollux bumped into me and my head almost went through the note bl- er, speakers." He chokes on the word, rolling his eyes at you as though you're to blame for Jade forcing him to use human terminology.

"Aaaaaaaand?"

"Gamzee poured Faygo on me," he mutters, and sits up to show you his sweater. It's covered in sticky soda and smells like cherry flavoring.

You tell yourself not to laugh.

You miserably fail at not laughing.

He glowers at you. You nudge him with your toe, trying to get him to stand up.

"Maybe Terezi will like you more now that you smell like cherry," you tell him, and grab him by the arms to try to pull him up. He grunts and crosses his arms as he's dragged across the floor, refusing to walk on his own.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Dave says as you dump Karkat on the floor next to where he's sitting. You pour him some punch and shove it into his hand, and he stares at it, looking like he's trying to catch it on fire with mere force of hate. Feeling bad for him (it isn't every day you get Faygo spilled on the only sweater you ever wear), you pat him on the head. He jerks away, sloshing his drink onto Dave's shoes. You grin and walk away backwards as they begin a shouting match, Dave pointing angrily at his brand new Converse.

This night's gonna be great.

**A/N: I've been stuck on the meowrails story for a while, so I started writing this idea that's been floating around in my head for a while. no worries, guys, I'm just on a slight hitch during the return from writer's block.**


	2. Be Jade

_6:30 p.m._

You love dancing so much. You know you look like a total dork and probably will be teased about it by John and Karkat, but you don't care. You're high off sweets and having a great time.

The person you are currently dancing with is having slightly less of a good time. Cronus always seems to weigh down on parties. Plus, he's the worst at dancing, and you don't say things like that lightly. So far, he's stepped on your feet five times, fallen over twice, and smacked various people in the face numerous times. You're not mentioning it, but you think he might be even clumsier than Mituna.

Which is saying something.

He's also tried to make a move on you several times just in this one song. You've had to actually kick him a couple of times to stop him from leaning in uncomfortably close.

Oh well. As the song comes to an end, you wave goodbye to him and wander around the dance floor, searching for someone to talk to. You've never heard this song before, so you're going to rest your feet a bit.

There's a lot going on, but it's pretty much the same at every dance. There's a group of people that know they're complete dorks but dance together anyway. That's where you usually are, along with Terezi, Aradia, Feferi, Jane, and Jake. They're in a bunch of your classes, too, so you can joke around about your teachers and stuff. There are the really good dancers, like Kanaya and Porrim, and (surprisingly enough) Gamzee. Then there are the too-cool-to-dance kids, who usually hang around the food and talk about how stupid everyone's being. Dave goes over there sometimes, joined by Dirk and Meenah. And the slightly off-putting Damara hangs out there too, occasionally joined by the nicer people who humor her heavy accent and constant innuendo and rude language.

Oh! There's Dave. You wave enthusiastically, but he doesn't seem to see you. He's talking to John. You decide to avoid them for a while, because you know John wants you to be his partner for the science project. He's a great guy, and a wonderful partner, but he's absolutely hopeless at even the most basic nuclear science and you have the best idea ever for the project.

You zone out a little thinking about how awesome it'll be when you show your teacher your cool assignment and kind of end up losing track of where you're walking and suddenly find yourself sitting on your ass with two confused trolls staring down at you.

"Oh! Sorry, Jade..." Tavros looks pretty scared as you wince, brushing off your shoulder where he collided with you. You give him a thumbs-up to assure him it's all right, and push away the hand he offers you. (When he tries to help people up, they usually end up pulling him out of his wheelchair.) Instead, you stand up yourself, dusting off your skirt. Sollux, behind the wheelchair and probably guilty of the high speed the wheelchair had accomplished shortly before its collision, looks sheepish. "Sorry about that, Jade."

You shrug, not in the mood to get mad at them for reckless driving. "It's fine. I wasn't paying any attention. It was probably my fault anyway. You look like you're having fun!"

"Do you want to push me too?" he offers. You have to decline- after all, you're not his student aide, are you? He scowls at the mention of the program that the school put into effect a few months ago. He's already ranted to you over chat about how he doesn't need help getting around, and he's perfectly capable of handling himself. Privately, though, you think he likes Sollux's company.

You try to talk a little but you can't hear each other over the booming of the speakers, so eventually you both give up and he tells Sollux to push him faster. Sollux shrugs with a last, apologetic look at you and grabs the back of the wheelchair. They zoom off, Tavros and his chair glowing with psychic energy, and he throws his arms in the air, smiling wider than you've ever seen.

_6:41 p.m._

Seems like John's left Dave alone, finally. You start wandering in their direction, looking around for more things to do. You could go talk to Rose, you suppose. But you've sorta lost the urge to gush about your science project, and that's the only thing you can think of to talk about with her. You've begun to realize that the only person who will know who you're talking about when you start spewing nuclear physics is Eridan, who is one of the people you definitely want to avoid.

You're approaching Dave, thinking of alternatives to the conversation you had planned, when you find yourself falling for the second time today. Your glasses skid across the floor, and everything blurs in front of your eyes as your hands skid across the floor. Your head cracks violently against the floor, and somebody swears loudly above you. Then you find your head in something soft.

At first, you just sort of close your eyes and let the throbbing in your head grow louder. You can sense that your head should hurt, but now you just feel numb and shocked. Then a voice fades softly into your consciousness and you accept that you won't be going to sleep here on the hardwood.

"...fuck oh god shit... shit," somebody is saying, and you look up and at first it's Karkat with blonde hair and sunglasses but then it's Dave wearing gray and scowling directly into your face and then it's... Becquerel? You try to say his name but the sound that comes out of his mouth more accurately approximates the sound someone makes when they're gargling. Wincing at your sad attempt to speak, you swallow a few times and repeat, "Bec?"

"No, you shitstained excuse for a human!"

Someone shoves your glasses back on your face and then Karkat's recognizable glower comes back into view. Dave's standing behind him, punch cup gripped tightly in his hand. Your vision doubles a few times and then goes back to normal, and you blink at them, slightly bemused.

"What happened?" you try to ask, pushing nonexistent strands of hair out of your eyes. Judging by the way Karkat's face changes from pissed to panicked and how Dave's grip tightens so much that his drink is starting to leak onto his shirt, you aren't going to be dancing with anybody anytime soon.

"No, no, I'm fine," you insist, and bat at the little hummingbirds that are flying around Karkat's face. He frowns and pushes your hand back down. "Jade, shut up and lie down."

You suddenly realize that your head is resting in his lap and jerk up, scrambling to stand up. "No! Ew. I'm not going to sleep in your lap, you sicko." Your head spins when you stand. He looks down at his legs as though he's just realized you'd been there the whole time, and you reel away from him, only half in control of your movements. Suddenly Dave is there, holding his arms out for you to fall into. Sinking into the floor, you let him pull you towards the bench and seat you there with a glass of punch in your hands.

You give the punch the stink-eye, remembering how it tasted like medicine, and try to push it away. Then Dave looks at you with his pouty face and you take a reluctant sip.

"Drink lots of that," he orders. "It'll make you feel better."

Then Terezi zooms past, still grabbing Nepeta, and calls out to him. "Hey, coolkid, are you going to sit there all night and waste away?"

Dave shakes his head, but then glances quickly between Karkat's disgruntled expression and the half-full punch cup in your hand and gets up quickly. "Well, hate to leave you guys alone," he says hastily, putting his crumpled cup on the table and straightening his glasses, "but I've got some people to dance with."

_He gets the hell out of there quickly_, you think grumpily to yourself.

Spending the dance on the sidelines with Karkat glaring at you. This is shaping up to be an awful night.


End file.
